“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” – Mark Twain
Learning to forgive as an adult is a process/skill/ability that can take many years to learn. The key is to find things that work for you.
Forgiveness is necessary if you truly want to experience a happier, more fulfilling/satisfying life.
Forgiveness is NOT:
- For the other person/situation, although it could be if you choose.
- “Stuffing it” and acting/pretending that all is well.
- A weakness.
- Feeling angry, resentful, offended, anxious, stressed, depressed.
- Good for your health and well-being.
- Revengeful, spiteful, unkind, and unwilling attitudes + actions.
- Condoning/minimizing a wrong or pretending it didn’t happen.
- For your own mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being.
- A life skill that is beneficial in all aspects of your life.
- A strength.
- A willingness to honestly address your feelings.
- Learning/training yourself to experience + release your emotions in a healthy way.
- Letting go of anger, resentment, offence.
- The choice we all have to seek love + peace in our relationships with self + others.
- An act of love.
- Improve mental/emotional/spiritual health and well-being.
- Generate healthier relationships with self and others.
- Reduce/relieve anxiety, stress, and anger/frustration.
- Increase empathy.
- Reduce symptoms of depression.
- Increase inner peace.
Learning to forgive one’s self and/or others can be extremely difficult, yet the benefits are very worth it.
- Don’t expect perfection in yourself or others.
- Learn from your mistakes so you can stop repeating them.
- Learn to be patient with yourself and others.
- Be honest and seek relationships based on honesty and truth.
- Take responsibility for your actions. If you hurt someone, own it, apologize, and take actions that contribute to peace in your relationship.
- Read books, listen to audiobooks and courses that train you to “let go.” (The Sedona Method is an excellent resource in this regard.)
- Meditate daily to reduce stress and become more aware of the “stories” running in your head.
- Do “The Work” (of Byron Katie) This useful tool can help awaken you to the belief’s/stories that might be running your life.
- Purposely breath deeply + consciously when you feel stressed, anxious, depressed, or angry.
What has helped you learn to forgive? Please share a comment below…
If you have found some value in this memoir, please share it with family.