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FORGIVENESS

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” – Mark Twain

Learning to forgive as an adult is a process/skill/ability that can take many years to learn. The key is to find things that work for you.

Forgiveness is necessary if you truly want to experience a happier, more fulfilling/satisfying life.

Forgiveness is NOT:

  • For the other person/situation, although it could be if you choose.
  • “Stuffing it” and acting/pretending that all is well.
  • A weakness.
  • Feeling angry, resentful, offended, anxious, stressed, depressed.
  • Good for your health and well-being.
  • Revengeful, spiteful, unkind, and unwilling attitudes + actions.
  • Condoning/minimizing a wrong or pretending it didn’t happen.

Forgiveness IS:

  • For your own mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being.
  • A life skill that is beneficial in all aspects of your life.
  • A strength.
  • A willingness to honestly address your feelings.
  • Learning/training yourself to experience + release your emotions in a healthy way.
  • Letting go of anger, resentment, offence.
  • The choice we all have to seek love + peace in our relationships with self + others.
  • An act of love.

BENEFITS

Forgiveness can:

  • Improve mental/emotional/spiritual health and well-being.
  • Generate healthier relationships with self and others.
  • Reduce/relieve anxiety, stress, and anger/frustration.
  • Increase empathy.
  • Reduce symptoms of depression.
  • Increase inner peace.

PRACTICAL SUGGESTIONS

Learning to forgive one’s self and/or others can be extremely difficult, yet the benefits are very worth it.

  • Don’t expect perfection in yourself or others.
  • Learn from your mistakes so you can stop repeating them.
  • Learn to be patient with yourself and others.
  • Be honest and seek relationships based on honesty and truth.
  • Take responsibility for your actions. If you hurt someone, own it, apologize, and take actions that contribute to peace in your relationship.
  • Read books, listen to audiobooks and courses that train you to “let go.” (The Sedona Method is an excellent resource in this regard.)
  • Meditate daily to reduce stress and become more aware of the “stories” running in your head.
  • Do “The Work” (of Byron Katie) This useful tool can help awaken you to the belief’s/stories that might be running your life.
  • Purposely breath deeply + consciously when you feel stressed, anxious, depressed, or angry.

What has helped you learn to forgive? Please share a comment below…

If you have found some value in this memoir, please share it with family.

 

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