STRESS

STRESS

We all experience stress in our busy, fast-paced world. Therefore it’s important to find ways of coping with and managing our stress response.

This post will not go into all the technical details of what stress is (there’s already an abundance of articles available on that); Rather we will dive primarily into practical action steps we can take to manage and reduce stress in our lives.

MY JOURNEY

I have personally dealt with extreme stress, traumas, anxiety, anger, and depression for the greater part of my life.

I didn’t do much about finding solutions until 2009 when I began searching for answers in personal development.

Once I started on that journey, a whole new world of possibility opened up.

I began listening to audio courses and audiobooks. I read many books in areas I wanted to learn and grow as a person.

It’s been 8 years that I’ve been studying and applying the things I’ve learned and it has truly changed my life for the better.

There are also many other things I have personally done to alleviate/reduce stress, anxiety, and anger in my life.

The following checklist show some options that are available for relieving/reducing stress/anxiety.

ACTIVITIES TO REDUCE STRESS

Here is a list of stress reduction activities that have helped me reduce anger, stress, and anxiety in my life over the years.

Actually doing these activities has helped me overcome debilitating suicidal depression and rage.

I’d highly recommend installing any of these activities as habits in your life.

You will be amazed at how much better your life can become.

Due to the body/mind connection, I’ve learned that if your body is tense and rigid, your mind will be as well.

[Disclaimer: The following checklist is not intended to treat, cure, prevent, or diagnose any illness or disease. Always check with a qualified, licensed medical practitioner before taking any actions regarding your health. As with everything in life, any/all actions you take are at your sole discretion and you assume full responsibility for the results you get.]

STRESS RELIEF CHECKLIST:

      • Educate yourself with regular learning
      • Listen to Audiobooks regularly
      • Personal daily bible reading
      • Attend Seminars + Retreats
      • Learn + practice EFT (tapping meridians)
      • Attend anger management classes
      • Buy + Read Book: “Lose Your Temper” by Alistair Moes
      • Regular physical activity (walk in nature, cycling, physical work, hiking, swimming, work out, etc.)
      • Ingest micronutrient supplements daily to improve brain function
      • See a qualified, certified Biokinesiologist regularly (Touch for Health Practitioner)
      • Listen to a guided meditation daily
      • Practice daily gratitude
      • Sit in silence and focus on your breathing 10 mins/day (meditation creates space)
      • Healthier, daily food choices
      • STOP (or at least reduce) eating “fast food” (extremely high sodium content causes stress to the body and mind)
      • Use raw, unrefined grey sea salt (full of micro-minerals) instead of bleached, white table salt
      • Supplement: Vitamin D3 especially during darker, winter months.
      • Supplement: Gamma-Aminobutyric Acid (GABA) to promote relaxation. (Stress depletes GABA)
      • Passionflower herb supplement (Helps body produce GABA)
      • Ingest a green drink every morning (green vegetables + fruit blended smoothie)
      • Homeopathy (Hylands Calms, Bach flower remedies, etc.)
      • Invest in healthy, supportive relationships
      • Establish boundaries (or keep a “respectful distance” from non-supportive relationships)
      • Vacation every year where possible (Travel to a different location away from home.)
      • Go somewhere new every month/quarter (local activities/lakes/scenic locations/fun places/culture/etc)
      • Reduce expenses where possible
      • Reduce spending where possible (make it harder to spend money, especially if you’re an emotional spender… AKA “Retail Therapy”)
      • Reduce debt and/or fully pay off debts regularly when possible (even if it’s just a portion every month)
      • Increase daily/weekly/monthly/yearly income where possible
      • Do “The Work.” Fill out a worksheet every day (“The Work of Byron Katie.” Available for free here.)
      • Guided visualization audio’s (Imagineering is a creative process that impresses images on your subconscious.)
      • Practice hobbies that nurture your creativity
      • Purchase + use a rife machine (Spooky2 software is free. Spooky2 XM generator is low cost and can be used in conjunction w/software.)
      • Affirmations (writing them down, then repeating out loud in front of a mirror)
      • Subliminal affirmations audio’s with binaural beats to enhance subconscious reprogramming
      • Cognitive belief therapy
      • Help someone who needs support

BODY/MIND CONNECTION

Due to the body/mind connection, I have learned that if your body is tense and rigid, your mind will be as well.

As you learn to relax the body, (a daily meditation practice will help this process) the mind will relax and in time you will see new possibilities open up that you couldn’t see before.

STRESS MANAGEMENT

The simplest and most powerful habit to manage/reduce stress and expand capacity to handle stress is by meditating daily.

Yes daily.

Stress, anxiety, and overwhelm are all results of too much activity without giving the mind down time.

Meditation can be likened to a gift for the mind.

When people are constantly busy and their attention is externally focused, it does not give their mind a break.

Tasks and activities such as driving, watching TV, browsing social networks, working, reading, listening to music, etc are all external focused.

When we give our mind a much need break from external focus and begin to focus internally by meditating, we see how busy our minds are with constant thoughts, ideas, worries, and concerns.

As we make meditating a daily ritual, we get better at calming the body and our mind begins calming down as well.

INSTALLING MEDITATION AS A HABIT

The key to installing meditation as a habit is to pick a time, a duration, and then stick with it daily for at least 30 days or more.

You will likely see benefits in your life after as little as 4-7 days.

If you miss a day, you will likely feel a little off.

As you stick with the practice daily you will feel calmer, more relaxed, and able to handle stress better.

You will also likely have more insights and realizations about your life, how you live, and how you can better it.

These realizations can be like gold, especially if a person has been on autopilot most of their life like I was.

Installing the habit of meditating daily can also help uninstall beliefs/unconscious programs that no longer serve.

As I meditate quietly daily, I ‘observe’ my thoughts. I do my best not to judge/reject them.

It’s not always easy to not allow myself to get caught up in my thoughts, but I do my best to observe them without judgment.

OBSERVING THOUGHTS

It can take time and practice to learn to be the observer of your thoughts.

It can be all too easy to become victim to our thoughts.

Our brains have so much information inside them that random thoughts can dominate our mind.

Learn to catch yourself when a thought process is like a runaway freight train and know that it is possible to train yourself to become more of an observer of your thoughts.

The key is to observe thoughts without judgment. This may be hard at first if this is a new concept for you, but with time you can get better at observing your thoughts without judgment.

IS IT TRUE?

When we believe a stressful thought is true, this can create greater stress and inner conflict.

Learning to train oneself to question stressful thoughts as to whether they are true or not can help you begin to find inner peace and happiness.

A powerful tool (that is a form of meditation) is “The Work of Byron Katie.”

Doing “The Work” can help you experience greater freedom from stressful thoughts and beliefs that may be holding you back from a more satisfying and fulfilling life.

In order to reap the benefits though, one must consistently do “The Work.”

This means taking inventory of stressful thoughts and beliefs that are running around in our mind and giving them a voice on paper.

When we “give voice” to our stressful thoughts on paper or thru ‘The Work of Byron Katie app’, we are truly beginning to listen to our inner voice.

If we reject or suppress this inner voice/child, the voice will only get louder and louder as it judges experiences, people, and events.

“The Work” is a way of acknowledging this inner voice and hearing it from a place of empathy and compassion.

This inner voice can be likened to a scared little child that only wants to be heard and doing “The Work” allows it to be heard and over time it will quiet down as “The Work” is done consistently.

What helps you reduce stress in your life? Please share a comment below and share this post with a friend if you found value.

#WilliamRKing3

FORGIVENESS

FORGIVENESS

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” – Mark Twain

Learning to forgive as an adult is a process/skill/ability that can take many years to learn. The key is to find things that work for you.

Forgiveness is necessary if you truly want to experience a happier, more fulfilling/satisfying life.

Forgiveness is NOT:

  • For the other person/situation, although it could be if you choose.
  • “Stuffing it” and acting/pretending that all is well.
  • A weakness.
  • Feeling angry, resentful, offended, anxious, stressed, depressed.
  • Good for your health and well-being.
  • Revengeful, spiteful, unkind, and unwilling attitudes + actions.
  • Condoning/minimizing a wrong or pretending it didn’t happen.

Forgiveness IS:

  • For your own mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being.
  • A life skill that is beneficial in all aspects of your life.
  • A strength.
  • A willingness to honestly address your feelings.
  • Learning/training yourself to experience + release your emotions in a healthy way.
  • Letting go of anger, resentment, offence.
  • The choice we all have to seek love + peace in our relationships with self + others.
  • An act of love.

BENEFITS

Forgiveness can:

  • Improve mental/emotional/spiritual health and well-being.
  • Generate healthier relationships with self and others.
  • Reduce/relieve anxiety, stress, and anger/frustration.
  • Increase empathy.
  • Reduce symptoms of depression.
  • Increase inner peace.

PRACTICAL SUGGESTIONS

Learning to forgive one’s self and/or others can be extremely difficult, yet the benefits are very worth it.

  • Don’t expect perfection in yourself or others.
  • Learn from your mistakes so you can stop repeating them.
  • Learn to be patient with yourself and others.
  • Be honest and seek relationships based on honesty and truth.
  • Take responsibility for your actions. If you hurt someone, own it, apologize, and take actions that contribute to peace in your relationship.
  • Read books, listen to audiobooks and courses that train you to “let go.” (The Sedona Method is an excellent resource in this regard.)
  • Meditate daily to reduce stress and become more aware of the “stories” running in your head.
  • Do “The Work” (of Byron Katie) This useful tool can help awaken you to the belief’s/stories that might be running your life.
  • Purposely breath deeply + consciously when you feel stressed, anxious, depressed, or angry.

What has helped you learn to forgive? Please share a comment below…

If you have found some value in this memoir, please share it with family.

 

#williamrking3

 

SUCCESS

How to Succeed in Life

Checklist: What to Do & Not Do

 

In my experience, success is measured by who you have become. It’s measured in the good qualities you have developed as a human being. People may accomplish great things in this world and make a lot of money and the masses may think this is success, yet is it really?  I think there is as many definitions of success as there are people on this planet.

 

In my opinion, when you choose to develop “success traits” or “success habits”, you will move through life with greater ease and flow. Success shows up in a way of thinking and behaving.  When you choose to abandon childish habits/ways of thought and embrace mature, good habits that lead you to greater fulfillment and happiness, success will occur more naturally and easily in your life and reality.

 

I’ve compiled a list of things to be and do to create more positive successes in your life and business. Following that is a list of what not to do if your truly want to be successful in life.  Remember that each day the choice is yours to either choose to develop success habits or to relapse into childish behavior.  Remember to choose as wisely as you can in each moment. Your decisions will have far-reaching effects in your life and others as well.

 

DO…

 

  • Be grateful. Gratitude is an abundance mindset that opens you to new possibilities and overall makes you a happier + more fulfilled person.
  • Be kind. Be the source of positive ripples in the world. You have no idea how it may return.
  • Be patient. A wise man once said “patience is the path to maturity.”
  • Be encouraging. There is an abundance of negativity in the world. Build people up rather than tearing them down.
  • Be generous. The more you give the better you feel. Want to feel really good? Give generously of your abundance. It may be your time, your thoughts, your energy, and sometimes your money.
  • Be supportive. So many have been supportive of you though the years whether you realize it or not. Give it back generously and the support will return to you.
  • Be appreciative. Don’t be like the old saying “you don’t know what you have until it’s gone.” Realize the blessings you have right now before they are gone. Tell your loved ones how much you appreciate them. Be appreciative of what freedom you may have right now. Appreciate having food, clothing, and shelter. Not everyone has these basic human needs.
  • Be teachable/coachable. When you are willing to learn and willing to makes positive changes in your thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes your life will gradually improve.
  • Be open + willing. Being closed off can hold you back from seeing an opportunity that may be right in front of you.
  • Learn to forgive your self/others and let go of the past. The way things were years ago does not have to determine the way things are today. Try your best to release old stagnant beliefs and immature viewpoints that no longer serve you and those in your life.
  • Do your best. Whatever task you may be doing, do your best at it. Every action you make affects others and has far reaching effects. Imagine a world where everyone gave their genuine best effort in everything…
  • Be positive + optimistic. This may take practice to make it a habit. The mind can be quite negative at times. Best to allow it to do what it does without getting annoyed with it. The mind will settle down as you install the habit of daily meditation.
  • Sleep well. A good nights sleep contributes to better overall physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health. If there are factors preventing this for you, try looking for solutions to getting a better night sleep. Help is available if you search for it.
  • Install good habits. It can take 3-4 weeks to install a new habit in your life by doing it daily. Want a positive transformation to happen? Make the commitment to developing a good habit. This is what highly successful people do. They develop success traits by making it a habit to do the things unsuccessful people don’t want to do.
  • Practice Daily Meditation. Simply sitting quietly while focusing on your breathing for 5-10 minutes a day will begin transforming your life for the better. Making this simple practice a daily habit will centre/relax/calm you and you will see more and more benefits show up in your life as you continue meditating every day.
  • Exercise Daily. Keep it simple or you won’t do it. Start small if you’re out of shape and increase gradually as your body can handle it. Set simple goals like: step goals, distance goals, number of flights climbed, etc. Using apps in your phone can help you easily keep track of your progress and will help you stay on track.
  • Look for the gold. Our mind may gravitate toward looking for the negative in a situation. Why not make it a habit to look for the gold in a situation? Every perceived ‘negative’ situation has an equally positive opportunity within it if you just make time to find it. Next time something “bad” happens (in your opinion), slow down your reaction time and  turn it into an opportunity to look for the gold.
  • Think long-term. Practice delayed gratification. Expecting something to happen instantly is unrealistic and immature. Learn to be more patient in waiting for outcomes and results. The results you expect to happen will happen as long as you stay the course, don’t give up, and keep moving progressively toward your goal.

 

DON’T…

 

  • Be cruel, rude, inconsiderate, ignorant, unkind, hurtful. I know that hurt people, hurt people, yet isn’t there already more than enough negativity, pain, and suffering in the world? Why add more negativity to the world? Do you really want that to return to you? It will. Those who are on a path of destruction will reach that destination unless they choose to change.
  • Train yourself to stop being so reactive. It can be hard at first to work on slowing down reaction time, especially if you’re a very emotional/impulsive person. It can be done though with effort and determination. The key is to meditate daily.
  • Be dishonest. Honesty really is the best policy in life & business. Those who are dishonest may hurt others and they also hurt themselves long term because there dishonest is eventually revealed. People don’t genuinely respect dishonest people.
  • Be self-centered. (narcissistic) This is a childish trait that can take years to overcome if it’s become a habit. Mature, perceptive people can spot this a mile away and will likely head the other way. This trait repels quality people from your life. If you desire truly good friends, try learning to have genuine empathy and compassion instead.
  • Waste time. Don’t just go through the motions in your life.  If you are dealing with depression, I can relate since I dealt with it most of my life and have overcame and learned how to manage my state better.  The state of depression can sap the life out of you including ambition and motivation.  At this point in my life, I realize how many years I wasted being angry about the past which lead to frustration, anger, and depression because it is impossible to change what happened.  I now know I can change my perspective and do my best to let the past be in the past.  My focus is being present with what is happening now and setting goals that keep me moving toward a better future.

 

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What do’s + do not’s would you add to this list?  Share a reply below and share this post with friends and family.

 

#WILLIAMRKING3
#SUCCESS

 

Life Lesson 1 – Facing Eviction

Overcoming Life’s Challenges

 

It seems like life and business does not happen without it’s challenges.

 

Just when you think things are going smooth, the figurative rug can seemingly be pulled out from under you and you may find yourself asking what the —- just happened?!!

 

In my experience, life and business can be like that.  We may find ourself in our ‘comfort zone’ and not realize it’s hindering our progress.

 

You may become unsatisfied with where you’re at in your life realizing that you were hoping to be in a much better place at the age you’re at presently.

 

So you decide to set goals that challenge you to step out of your comfort zone, force you to grow, and stretch your current mindset to create a better life/lifestyle for you and your family.

So let’s say you take action by taking 20 minutes or so every day to relax and visualize you having your goals already accomplished.  (This is a great action step by the way to accelerating the goal creation process.)

Next thing you realize, something happens that seems to turn your world upside down.

 

This personally happened for my wife and me a few years back when we were served an eviction notice Dec 24th from our landlady when we had done nothing wrong.

 

What we did do was request that she respect quiet time between 11pm – 7am (as the law states.)  She said she wouldn’t and then illegally posted an eviction notice on our door the next day.

 

It seemed so unfair to us at the time, yet now I realize what a blessing it is to move from this house.  We haven’t realized what a toxic environment it was for us emotionally as well as physically due to toxic black mold behind the walls in the suite.

 

We searched high and low for a new place to live to no avail.  It seemed like we simply could not find a place to live that had the criteria we were looking for.  We knew it was out there somewhere, yet we couldn’t seem to find it.

 

We were at the point of giving up and throwing in the towel.  Then we went to see our mind/body practitioner who did some balancing work on us and we went home feeling exceptionally better than we had for the previous 2 weeks.

 

When we got home, we decided to pray together asking that God provide us exactly what we needed in a home.  After that my wife recalled a place that was available my sister had mentioned to her a while back.

 

We decided to look into it and went to view it.  When we arrived and walked through, it felt like home to us.  We could see ourselves living there for the next couple years or so.  It had all the criteria we were looking for in a home.  We were amazed at how fast it showed up for us once we had figuratively ‘thrown in the towel’ and given up in finding a place that would work for us.

 

Through this situation I have had many realizations and take aways that I would like to share here.  Hopefully something from our situation can help you in whatever challenge you might be going through.

 

Life Lessons:

 
  • If you think there is no way out of a situation, it will be harder to create one.
  • Putting in tons of effort without first getting clear, is a waste of energy.
  • A perceived “negative” situation is really just one side of the coin.
  • Learning to have faith that things will turn out for the good/best is a faster way to achieve your goals and create the life of your dreams.
  • Visualizing your goals and dreams (in a meditative, relaxed state) will rapidly move you toward them! (may cause some discomfort if it’s outside your comfort zone.)
  • Learn to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. (This is the path to creating positive change in your life.)
  • Be intentional about what you desire to be, do, have in your life and business.
  • Prayer is a powerful creation process to seeing the answers to your questions.
  • Sometimes your greatest challenge/difficulty can be a blessing in disguise.

 

I hope this post supports you in whatever challenges you may be experiencing at this time in your life.  If you found this helpful in any way, please share with friends/family.

 

William R King

 

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